Equal Effort

I have always heard people say that if you are going to study anti-Mormon literature that you need to spend equal time studying the Book of Mormon and positive things written about the Church too.

Scott emailed me this morning about how the car he gave me and Bella to drive loses air in the tire every few months. He assumed I am driving to Price today and I guess he would feel guilty if we plummeted into the canyon if we blew out a tire.

My thought: Scott has put so much effort into divorcing me the last year. He has put so much energy into not connecting with me, not talking to me and I wonder - if he had put as much energy and effort into our relationship when we were married would we have been able to stay together?

He is so determined to get this divorce he has not attended church so he does not have contact with church authority. He does not want anyone telling him he is making a bad life choice. He refused to talk to our Bishop. He is avoiding anyone who would talk sense to him. Poor Scott. He is so messed up. In a way a feel badly for him. I try not to focus on my feelings of compassion towards him. He wants to be a solitary man. When we were married I told him he was going to end up like his mom, lonely and alone. He may, unless he quickly jumps into a superficial relationship with an uneducated woman. Uneducated in the sense that she does not know who Scott really is, only by living with Scott do you really know him. That is true about people, but with Scott you do not know that when he is home all he is going to do is the dishes.

No Contact

Next week will mark a year that Scott left me and B. I have had a hard week but not because of the pending anniversary of his deparature. I have a skin condition and it has flared up this week and I got a letter from Scott's attorney that said this at the bottom: further delay in doing so may well result in the derailment of these settlement negotiations. Scott has harassed me and harassed me to sign the papers. I signed the stipulation at the beginning of August.

He turns his phone off so we cannot reach him when he has a date.